A fan account of visiting Barbara’s grave

Barbara's new grave in August 2018 (photo courtesy of Joy)

As some of you may know from Rob Radboud's website,  in January this year, Barbara’s old white tombstone was replaced with the new black one to accommodate her mother’s. Barbara’s old white tombstone is now buried underneath the black stone, along with her ashes and her mother’s ashes. However, I didn’t visit her grave when I was in Europe in 2018 because I didn’t have time, hence I couldn't tell the impression upon seeing Barbara's new grave.

A few weeks ago, a fan of Barbara contacted me about visiting Barbara’s grave in Cambridge. Her name is Joy, and what is very special to me about her is that she is 18 years old, yet she is a fan of Barbara Yung. Joy said that she became a fan after watching the LOCH 1982 series with her mother. Joy was in the UK recently (or perhaps still is), thus she wanted to visit Barbara’s grave in Cambridge. I gave her some tips based on my old post in 2016 and 2017. Later, she sent me an account of her visit and also some photographs; here they are below, edited slightly to secure her identity.

Joy, thank you so much for the gift.




August 2018

Hi Icha, 

I arrived in Cambridge at around 1pm (it was a long bus ride). I was stressing about where to buy flowers until I read that you bought yours at the market, so I walked over after lunch and purchased a bouquet of orange lilies from a florist in the market. I read on your blog post that Rob mentioned these were her favourite flowers, so it seemed appropriate. I took bus 12 and finally arrived at the cemetery. As I was walking to lot 29, I thought to myself, “this should be easy to find, her grave is in the shape of a black heart!” 

The orange lilies from Joy for Barbara

And then as I was approaching, I saw about 5 graves in that general area that were in the shapes of black hearts, but luckily I found it!! The lilies were cut from the stem so I set them in the flower pot filled with water that was next to the grave. Rob did a great job cleaning - the grave was beautiful and there were many flower bouquets. Barbara and her mother have definitely had visitors over the past few days because there were unpotted flowers that were still fresh. 

Joy's flowers for Barbara amongst flowers from other fans

I never realized the immense difference between looking at photos of the grave versus actually kneeling in front of it. I can’t completely describe how it felt to be there but it was incredibly overwhelming, and there was an ambiguous feeling of both meeting her and not meeting her at the same time. Leaving was a terrible feeling - it felt like I was saying goodbye forever even though I know that I’ll visit again in the future. 

I truly appreciate your reply, as well as the posts you’ve written - they were an enormous help today! It’s heart-warming to know that her memory still lives on through the lives she’s touched, and I hope it will continue to live on for a very long time.

Best wishes,
Joy